Surely when a woman gives birth to her baby she is also, at that precise moment, being re-born into a Mother.
This concept fills me with awe.
I lost my mum when I was 11. I often wonder if she spoke with her own mum about her fears, her sadness, her greatest achievements and her hopes for her children when she found out she had cancer.
And way before then, when she first became a mum, what was her experience like? Shifting from a strong, free-spirited independent woman into a mother. Did she pause to think about it, did she ever talk about it with her friends, or her mother? I wonder if she ever felt alone?
Last year I became a mother and there have been countless times I have wanted to reach out to my mother for guidance. But instead life called me to seek out and discover the innate mama wisdom that resided in me.
A wisdom, to be honest, I didn’t know I had. A wisdom that in years gone by would have been shared by way of sacred ritual and teaching through the elder women of my tribe.
This begs the questions, in 2016, where do we, as women, learn our way into motherhood?
My work as a Counsellor shines light on the knowledge that our brains are hard wired to repeat what has been modelled and experienced by us from our perspective as a child. However, we do always have a choice. We are able to make more conscious decisions about the experience we offer to our children.
With this in mind, who are our guiding lights, sources of strength, our greatest role models. And, how do we consciously choose to be the mum we want to be?
These questions are so significant and their repercussions lasting, they need to be asked of all women as they journey from maiden into mother.
Soul Centred Psychotherapist Judy Williams, based in Balwyn Victoria, advocates the benefits of recognising and honouring the journey of transition from girlhood into motherhood.
“The transition is monumental, and if honoured and prepared for can prevent aloneness, doubt and confusion for this most beautiful grounding of mother. The life changing transformation, if not recognised fully, may be a significant factor that contributes to Post Natal Depression.”
I couldn’t agree more with Judy’s words. Like many mothers, my transition into motherhood felt lonely at times. And in my experience, which is mirrored by many of the women I work with, the overall focus by professionals was strongly directed at the baby and limited, if any, shown towards the mother during this major emotional, physical and spiritual evolution.
A powerful exercise I used to help me connect with the mother within was writing down qualities I admired in mothers I knew or the mother I aspired to be. This can be an ongoing collection of written words and sentences until you feel that you can create ‘your ground’. Place these slips all around you, as you stand centred in the middle of all these qualities.
This can be your launching pad to claiming and connecting to your ‘mother’ ground.
My dream for all mothers is that they feel supported and nurtured as they make their way through this momentous milestone.